Melt in your mouth

April 27th, 2009

Ted: The three-days rule is insane, I mean, who even came up with that?
Barney: Jesus.
Marshall: Barney. Don't do this. Not with Jesus.
Barney: Seriously. Jesus started the whole 'wait three days' thing. He waited three days to come back to life. It was perfect. If he would have only waited one day, a lot of people wouldn't have even heard that he died. They'd be all 'hey, Jesus. What up?' And Jesus would probably be like 'What up? I died yesterday.' And then they would be all 'Uh. You look pretty alive to me, dude,' And then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected and how it was a miracle. And then the dude would be all like 'uh, ok, whatever you say, bro.'
Robin: Wow. Ancient dialogue sounds all stilted now.
Barney: And he's not going to come back on a Saturday. Everybody's busy. Doing chores. Working the loom. Trimming their beards. No, he waits the exact right number of days. Three.
Ted: Ok, I promise. I'll wait three days. Just please stop talking.
Barney: Plus it's Sunday. So everyone's in church already. They're all in there 'Oh no, Jesus is dead.' And then BAM, He burst through back door. Runs up the aisle. Everyone is totally psyched, And by the way, that's when he invented the high-five. Three days, We wait three days to call a woman because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait. True story.